Antiponcho, AntiGreen & Ante-Up

I know I've regained my health when my cranky index returns to normal. Ready for a dose? First - the poncho. This is a fashion horror that simply will not go away. The mania for these impractical, ridiculous articles reached new heights when Martha Stewart emerged from behind bars sporting a crocheted version last week. Martha, please! - why not a pill box hat? Why not a well-tailored dress? Why this shapeless, artless piece of frippery that DOES NOT hide anyone's hips or a**? Kill poncho. kill, kill, kill . . . OK. I know it's St. Patrick's Day and everyone is supposed to be Irish and happy and gay, but I don't get it. Why the universal love affair with all things Irish? The music all sounds the same, the history of the Irish people is sad and sadder, the lovely Gaelic tongue has all but disappeared and morphed into a mushy English dialect that pretty nearly defines "quaint" and "folksy," and the sight of green beer and face-painted shamrocks makes me queasy. So there. And finally, thanks to reader and cub reporter G. Parker for sending me the counter to the ongoing cost of the Iraqi war. I'm hosting it on www.threadingwater.com If you have the stomach for it, take a look at how the cost of the war compares to what the U.S. spends on public education or kids' health. Did I throw a wet poncho on your day?