ha, ha, ha, ha, ha - Really, I'm trying to be serious

How perfect is it that a grown man named "Scooter," limping around on crutches, has become the latest poster boy for the ailing Bush administration? And, lo - this is enough to tickle my atheist sensibilities. Merry Fitzmas, one and all.

Check His Briefs

Standing puffed-up and proud in the eye of the storm swirling around the current administration, he hasn't lost his programmed edge. Maybe that's why I love following the daily briefings of White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. Give him credit for being a quick study when it comes to language. What "they" say: War in Iraq What "we" say: Global war on terrorism They say: U.S. casualties in Iraq We say: Sacrifices Them: U.S. military deaths Us: Sacrifices in defense of freedom They say: Scotter Libby, Karl Rove, Vice President Cheney, Valerie Plame, CIA leak We say: No comment. Ongoing investigation They ask about: Truth, trust We reply: I appreciate that question. Next. They want to know our stand on: the CIA and use of torture We say: blah, blah, blah, adhere to laws and values blah, blah, we are a country of laws and values. A testy lap dog in iron jockeys, that Scotty is, and the leash they have him on isn't around his neck.

Let Me Tell You 'Bout the Clean & Press

I am a woman of a certain age. Certain age, such a charming euphemism for um, well . . . menopause. Oh, that word. Gray hair, wrinkles, sagging body parts and, let's not forget - dry eye syndrome. (wink-wink) It's not a pretty picture. But, can I admit something here? I'm loving it! That's right. Abso-f**king-lutely loving it! Why? Because bad girl AL has nearly obliterated the good girl (or whatever was left of her) right out of my psyche and physical body. Good riddance, I say, but not everyone is bound to agree. Just ask:

• the guy in the pickup truck who had the nerve to throw up his hands in some histrionic act of male driving supremacy and exasperation because I forced him to drive down a parking lot aisle filled with pedestrians and children at a reasonable rate of speed
• the check-out woman at a local department store who thought it was more important to take care of a telephone inquiry instead of waiting on the customer (me) standing right in front of her with a purchase
• my locker mate at the crowded gym who appropriates twice as much space as anyone else for all of the personal crap she drags around with her

and, hey, it's only THURSDAY.

Yeah, I'm psychotic - hear me roar. This is SO MUCH fun.

And the sagging body parts thing? Got that licked. Weight training with big-boy barbells does amazing things to the female form. You get lean AND you get balls.

Menopause gives you license to use 'em.

Icy Blue

BlueGal would like to welcome any newly awakened conservatives back into the fold of humanity as errant and misguided prodigal children. She is a smarter, better person than I - but you already knew that. Here's the evil flip side. I have nothing but contempt for my fellow Americans who are only now expressing dissatisfaction with the current regime. Let's face it, what exactly has changed since last year when these same folks voted Dubya back into office? Is the war in Iraq any less of a mess? Have the lies that got us into Iraq changed? Is the graft, corruption and incompetence of this administration a surprise to anyone who (gasp) reads? No. I'll tell you what has changed. The price of gasoline at the pump. Oh, the evangelical church parking lots are still crammed with SUV's and pickup trucks every weekend, but the promised land of "W" is not looking quite so rosy at $2.89 per gallon with a long, cold winter ahead. If I owned a gas station, I'd post the photographs of dead soldiers at every pump and charge double for anyone with a yellow ribbon magnet on their vehicle. Maybe then, the American public would begin to connect the dots. As it stands, the majority of our fellow citizens have shown a remarkable ability to hold disparate, warring facts at arms' length, allowing them to act, vote and speak without thinking, and to express outrage, shock and surprise at the logical and predictable outcomes coming our way. My heart is stone cold to the entire lot of them.

I Wasn't Going to Do This

The professional side of my life has me in bondage. I'm skimming headlines the way I'm racing through my days, scanning for essentials - hoping for a break in the traffic and the occasional good parking spot. Here's one. Thanks to the knitting curmudgeon for pointing it out. We're off early tomorrow for the rosy red state of MO to catch-up with family and friends. See y'all next week.